Today I met my mom and Eirinn at Rotten Ronnie’s for lunch.  It was a “special treat” because my mom didn’t have any other kids and Eirinn claims to like chicken nuggets (even though the discarded bag containing half of her order tells me otherwise).  The food actually grosses me out and makes me feel like a bad person and ashamed of myself after I eat it.  That’s why it’s a “special treat.”

She also loves the playroom and is pretty sure that every restaurant should have one.  Frankly, I do too.  Wouldn’t it be nice if places that served something other than cow lips and arseholes had a playground!  indoors!  so kids would actually want to eat there too?  Just a suggestion.

Eirinn is technically too young (ages 3-10) to use the playroom, but I let her if there are just well behaved younger kids in there with her.  As soon as the roughhousing hooligans pile in, running and screaming and threatening each other, I pull her out for fear I’ll never see her with all her limbs again.

Today, thankfully, it was a nice calm day, playroom-wise.  Eirinn general sticks to using the slide, which is harmless enough for my tender heart.  On her 894th time down, she emerged, sliding on her tummy, head-first, with a giant grin on her face.  As she struggled to stand up and climb out I noticed what was so amusing. 

Her pants were down around her knees.  And she thought this was brilliant. 

Not only was she the laughing stock of the restaurant (which, to her, was a very good thing, the little performer that she is), but everyone got to see that she was wearing Big Girl Disney Princess Pull Ups and not baby diapers.

My three thoughts were:

1.  Girl needs to grow a butt.  Those of us with J. Lo gadunk-a-dunks have never had the experience of our pants falling down.

2.  Where on earth was my camera at a time like this? 

and

3.  Boy am I glad I have a blog to share with the world my legions of fans a couple of people my mom (who was there) this kind of future humiliation.

I suppose now that Eirinn is a Big Girl in a Big Girl Bed and going to the potty nearly full time during the day (!!!), she should be able to make up her own Big Girl rules right?  And she should be able to do everything that Big Girls do.

Eirinn tells me (and anyone else who wants to know) that because she is a Big Girl (a title earned by sleeping in the real bed), she is now big enough to drive.  Yes, drive.  Like a car.  A real one.  Specifically my car.  When I load her into the back, she gets visibly upset and tells me that she should be sitting in the front seat so she can drive and that I can sit in her car seat. 

What do you think?  Should I let her?

Also, she has taken on a more…colourful…vocabulary.  Growing up, we were never allowed to swear or take the Lord’s name in vain or even say ‘fart’ (that one was just because my mom hates the word).  Anonymous Husband’s family was allowed to swear. All of the big, bad words except eff you sea kay.  Anonymous Husband’s family was not allowed to swear.  The difference between my family and his was that we weren’t allowed to swear, so we didn’t.  They weren’t allowed to swear but they did anyway even though they got reprimanded for it.  Is that better AH?

Anyway, AH often says “for God’s sake” when he’s frustrated (and I’ll admit to the occasional use of the phrase).  Eirinn has started to say it! She’s even using it in the right context, like when she drops some Playdoh or if I ask her to take just one more bite.

The first couple of times I told her “we don’t use those words”, but now I’m ignoring it, hoping the novelty will wear off. If it doesn’t, which it probably won’t, given the child, I’ll encourage her to say “goodness sakes” instead.

It’s only 2:00pm, but thus far, today has been mighty unusual.  Eirinn has decided, on her own, that she is potty trained.  Or at least that it is high time that we get our acts together and potty train her, for Pete’s sake*.  As I sit and type, she has used the potty at my mom’s house, successfully, a grand total of five (5) times today.  Wait.  That sentence deserves more grandeur.  Like a ! or even a !!!.

She has sat and made good use of the potty five times.  I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself, I just can’t believe it.  To put it into perspective, she has successfully used her potty at home a grand total of 3 times since we bought the darn thing way back in August.  In the past few weeks, when asked if she’d like to use the potty, we’ve been consistently given a polite “No sank you.”  And the odd time she does sit on it, she gives us no action.

While I’d love to believe that this is some giant milestone I can document in her largely neglected completely ignored for well over a year seriously, I don’t even know where it is baby book, I’m a realist.  I also know my daughter.

I’ll summarize my feelings for the entire day by relaying to you a conversation via email I had with Anonymous Husband. 

***

Me: Eirinn has used the potty successfully three times today! She and my mom just came in to my office to tell me. (sent at 11:17am)

AH:  Awesome! (sent at 1:47pm)

Me: And she’s used it twice more since I sent you that.  My mom is giving her a chocolate egg every time she goes, but who cares?  It’s working!

AH:  There go our chocolate eggs.

Me: Bag of chocolate eggs: $3.99.  Bag of diapers: $18.99.  I’ll buy you more eggs.  I’m just worried about the permanent sugar high she’s going to be on.

AH: She’ll end up going to bed at midnight.

Me: Maybe I’ll see if they have some sugar-free chocolates at the Bulk Barn.  Although, we’re getting ahead of ourselves.  This is Eirinn we’re talking about.  Probably by tomorrow she’ll refuse to be in the same room as the potty.

AH: I think you’re right there.

***

*Who is this “Pete” and what’s he got that I don’t?  Why don’t people do things for my sake?  I like the sound of “For Jen’s sake…” much better.

*UPDATE*

Yesterday she used the potty 7 times at my mom’s and once at our house and she went again this morning before we left!  Even if this is just a passing novelty, I’m so proud of my little big girl!