An ever-expanding list of lessons I have learned, thanks to child-rearing.

• Crying is sometimes ok.  Crying does not always equal dying. 
• Pack at least two extra outfits.  When they’re infants, you’ll need replacements due to poop-splosions.  When they’re toddlers, you’ll need them due to food/dirt/drool/crayon-splosions.
• Cheerios are heaven’s fruit, crack for babies, and tantrum-averters all wrapped up in a perfect ‘O’.
• Save your money.  Buy books at the dollar store.  Given the right (or wrong, as the case may be) mood, a $15 board book can be reduced to shreds in 12 seconds or less.
• They don’t remember their first birthday party.  Whatever you do is for your own benefit, don’t fool yourself. 
• The box is almost always more fun than the $50 chunk of plastic that came inside.
• There is no reason a television should have more than one channel.  Treehouse.
• Washable crayons, only.
• 8 hours sleep is not always necessary.  Sometimes 6 hours will do just fine.  Even if it’s taken in 3, two hour segments.
• Babies are smarter than we think.  In fact, they’re often smarter than we are.  We’re just taller and know English.
• Keep a rotating stack of books in the car, even for the short trips.
• While eating red food (pizza, chili, ketchup), strip to naked.
• Pay top dollar for daycare and/or babysitting while baby is teething.  Whatever you normally pay is not enough.
• With a toddler a) only let them taste food you are willing to part completely with, and b) only start a ‘fun, new’ game you are willing to play all day long.
• Toddlers know how to do everything BY THEMSELVES.  Don’t help.  Don’t offer help.  Don’t look at them like you’re thinking about helping.  Because they will be highly offended and voice their displeasure loudly, especially if you’re in public.
• Baby gate across their bedroom door when they are transitioning to a big kid bed is a necessity.  Unless you enjoy getting up 10 times a night and/or at 5:30 in the morning.