I haven’t had the baby yet.  My doctor goes on vacation beginning July 5th and the way things are going that means I won’t get to have him deliver.  It would have been nice to have not only someone I’m comfortable with and know and who knows me and my history (not that there’s anything complicated to know), but also the same doctor who delivered Eirinn.  But at this point, I’ll just be glad when the baby is born (healthy, of course).  I’ve tried begging, pleading, praying, more begging, and this darn kid seems like she’s in there for good.

Also, if I don’t have this baby soon, I’m going to blimp up like…a blimp.  Apparently, unbeknownst to me, I have no self control.  For lunch on Monday I had two peanut butter cookies and an ice cream bar.  Tuesday was McDonalds.  Yesterday was healthy, but that was only because my mom packed the picnic lunch.  If it were up to me it would have been cookies again.

I’ve been reacquainting myself with stay-at-home parenthood.  Not that we’ve done much “staying at home”.  I think if I stayed at home all day everyday, I’d lose my mind.  And Eirinn would turn into the Hulk with the fury and the tantrums and the gross misconduct.  We need time (and lots of it) out of the house to stabilize her mood swings.  And it’s also a challenge to find activities that are fun for toddlers and that a woman carrying around a very large, painful belly which is getting extremely difficult to maneuver, what with the sciatic pain and the “down there” pressure and the complete lack of energy can handle.

Monday and Tuesday we spent the mornings shopping (in toy departments, so it was fun for her, too) and the afternoons napping (both of us).  Yesterday, after a terrible, horrible early morning spent with the Hulk, we went to a park with a creek and a splash pad and had a picnic for lunch.  This was more fun than the Hulk could handle and we got our Eirinn back.

Today, we planned on going on a long (labour-inducing, perhaps?) walk, but the weather doesn’t look like it wants to participate.  Or maybe a walk in the rain with our slickers and rain boots is fun too?  We’ll see, because staying at home all day isn’t an option. 

I’m in it to survive, people, not excel.  And survival involves vacating the premises, rain or shine.

Eirinn has matured from typical toddler Jackson Pollock arteest.  She’s entered into the talent field occupied by the likes of Leonardo da Vinci or Michaelangelo or, my favourite, Salvador Dali.  In other words, she’s bloody brilliant.

Or at least her mother thinks so.  Keep in mind she is 2 years, 3 months, 2 weeks and 1 day old.

(Entire world, meet Anonymous Arm and Anonymous Knee.  I’m sorry AA and AK to have ‘outed’ you.  It couldn’t be avoided.)

Seriously.  She did that face (it’s so obviously a face - if you can’t tell, you must be drunk on absinthe) all on her own.  She started with a blank Magnadoodle and told me about the face, then the eyes, the nose, mouth, ears and hair as she drew them with her own little hand.  It looks a bit like The Scream to me, but with hair.  The drawing, silly, not the kid.

I’ve seen 5 year olds draw less realistically than that.

And I’m not just showing you in order to brag about a new-found talent.  I’m spreading the joy of art to the world because it would be selfish of me to keep it to myself.

The end of work, that is.  But that’s something, right?  I brought a box to pack up all my personal stuff - pictures, my calendar, a kettle - and that makes it all official. 

Come Monday morning, my desk will be occupied by someone else and they’ll be messing with my stuff and doing everything all wrong.  But what do I care?  I won’t have to deal with the rescue and recovery of it all for 13 months!  I get my 17 weeks of pregnancy leave, 35 weeks of parental leave, and I tacked on 4 weeks of vacation time to the end.

With Eirinn, I only took 10 months.  Well, I scheduled myself to only take 9 months, but her agenda and mine were not quite synchronized.  Going back to work when she was 10 months kind of sucked.  Ten months is the age when milestones start appearing at lightening speed.  She started walking at 10 months.  Her vocabulary exploded at 10 months.  But at the time, it was a financial necessity.  We were moving to a house with a larger mortgage and larger bills in a few months and we needed that time with full pay to save.

This time we’re planning on our finances being a little tight.  Tight, but hopefully manageable.  We’ll have to make some sacrifices here and there, put off some larger purchases until next summer, but we’ll make do.  I think the benefit to sacrifice ratio will make it all worth it.  Not only will I be able to spend those few extra months with Baby, but I’ll also be spending more time with Eirinn; the time I didn’t get to spend with her before.

And while I’m immensely excited about the end of work and the arrival of Baby, I know that by the end I will be glad to come back.  I’m not cut out to be a full time stay at home mother.  I think those who are are much stronger than I am.  I need to get out of the house - alone - and do something not mommy related for an extended period of time.

Plus, I don’t think my Anal Retentiveness will allow me to let someone else occupy my desk, mess with my stuff and do everything all wrong for any longer than that.  I’ll need to get back and deal with that situation.