The Darndest Things – Eirinn Edition

Or Three Actual Conversations We’ve Had This Past Week – No Editing Required


Conversation #1 – Poop

Last night at dinner, Eirinn was eating a hamburger the right way – meat between the buns, as opposed to making the two bun halves and the meat a three course meal.  We told her so.

“Eirinn, you’re eating your burger like a grown-up.”  See?

“Now can I have Poop Cereal?”

Background – I eat All Bran Guardian cereal in the morning.  You know, the one with psyllium fiber.  Lots of it, if you catch my drift.  She always asks if she can have some because they are shaped like cute little hearts and Cheerios.  I tell her that it’s grown-up cereal and when she asks why, I tell her because it makes you poop (don’t ask me why pooping makes it grown-up cereal; she doesn’t).

(Also, I don’t need help pooping, I just like the taste.)

(Of the cereal.)

(Sorry about the TMI – I felt the need to clarify.)


Conversation #2 – Nose Picking

As I was putting her to bed last night, she told me not to leave, as per usual.  I said I would have to leave when I was done singing to her so that she could go to sleep.

“Then I can pick my nose?”

“No, that’s gross.”

“Um…I’m picking my nose now.”

…and she was.


Converstation #3 – Passing Gas

“I stink.”

She usually tells us that we stink if we are about to have a shower.  Nice, I know.

“Do you need to have a bath?”

“No.  I’m tooting.”

“Right now?”



“Now I’m done.”


I could also have titled this post Why My Daughter Needs a Positive Role Model Because She’s Obviously Lacking One.


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