PhD in Santa-ology, anyone?

Anyone else having trouble explaining this whole “Christmas” thing to their toddler? Without getting into the religious aspect (which, at two and a half, seems much too complicated for me to even attempt), it’s really, really hard for a little person to get. I mean, try explaining the difference between a day and a season

“Christmas Day is when we do all kinds of fun and exciting things with all your favourite people and we exchange presents and eat delicious meals.  It’s such a special day that we decorate and watch movies and make a big whoop-dee-do for what seems like months ahead of time.  We wrap up wonderfully tempting gifts and stick them underneath a tree (yes, we have a tree inside the house) that’s decorated all Dr. Seuss-style, and NO YOU CAN NOT TOUCH THEM (even though Daddy snooped through his own).  But Christmas Day is not today.  No, not today either.  Nope, still weeks away.  And STOP TOUCHING THOSE PRESENTS.  No, we can’t go to Christmas Day, we have to wait until it comes to us.  Yes, we’re going to Granny’s for dinner, but it’s not Christmas Day today, even though we just told you that we’ll be going to Granny’s for dinner on Christmas Day, that day is still weeks from now.  Oh, and remember that whole ‘stranger danger’ thing?  Forget that.  Because there is this guy, this fat, bearded, creepy, old man who wants you to sit on his knee and tell him what you’d like him to break into our house in the middle of the night and leave for you underneath our crazy indoor tree.  But don’t be afraid of him.  He’s ‘jolly’.  Oh, and he flies.  Or, at least, he rides in a flying sled behind his magical flying reindeer, one of which has a lightbulb for a nose.  Don’t ask questions.  Just believe in him because he’s Santa and you’re supposed to.  And, for Santa’s sake, STOP TOUCHING THOSE PRESENTS, THEY’RE NOT FOR YOU ANYWAY!”

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5 thoughts on “PhD in Santa-ology, anyone?

  1. Oh, goodness yes. Especially the time reference thing. Christmas Day is perpetually “tomorrow” in Lucy’s books.

    Touching the tree? Holymother. We partially solved this by giving Lucy some of her own, unbreakable ornaments that she’s allowed to look at and gently fondle. But she still ends up taking them on and off, despite repeating “THEY’RE NOT TOYS.”

    Thankfully she loves Santa.

  2. I was told in no uncertain terms on Saturday “NO HO HO!” which in toddler-speak means I DON’T WANT TO SIT ON SANTA’S LAP. Lexy, however, was all over him – she figures if she’s nice to him, he’ll leave more stuff – she’s way more materialistic than her little sister …

    Lexy still has trouble with spacial things. “Behind this sleep” means yesterday; “last year” means the last time…. everything is counted in “sleeps” as in how many sleeps until ..

    I can’t imagine trying to teach the story of Christmas to either of them until they’re 35… yeah, good luck with that, Jen. 😉

  3. Pingback: Random, with green, geothermal and gift basket / Durham Region Baby (Ontario, Canada)

  4. Pingback: Easter Bunny-ology, or How My Brain Exploded «

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