Don’t look them directly in the eyes

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Wow.  Aren’t they beautiful?  I mean, really.  They could be in commercials.  I’m sure every parent thinks the same about their kids, but…wow.  I could eat Small One’s cheeks all up.  And those pouty little lips?  Adorable.  And Large One has the most wonderfully gigantic crystal blue eyes I’ve ever seen.  These two are going to leave a trail of broken hearts in their wake.  Well, not a trail.  They are good Catholic girls, you know.

Aaaand…this is what I have to keep telling myself.  Some days if they weren’t the cutest sisters on the planet they would have been evicted.  Voted off the Tornado Alley island. 

See that sweet little rosy cheeked baby?  The one with the liquid blue eyes asking you, “Aren’t I cute?  Don’t you want to spend every hour of the day with me, including those most often reserved for sleep?  Yeah, you do!  Don’t worry, I’m there for you.  I’ll even wake you up in case you accidentally fall asleep.  I know you didn’t do that on purpose.  How could you, with adorably awesome little old me in the room next to you?  Now, quit being lazy and wake up and get me fed.  Hear me roar.”  Yeah.  Her.  She doesn’t sleep.

And the gorgeous blond with the milky white skin?  She would just like to say, “I’m the most well behaved almost three year old in the world.  Pay no attention to the trembling pile of bespectacled tattered nerves shivering in the corner.  She’s not mom enough to handle my “occasional” spaztastic explosion of every toddler misdemeanor known to man.  Nor can she stomach yet another complete disregard of parental authority.  She didn’t read the fine print in the job description.  And besides.  Her voice is hoarse from yelling, so no one can hear her scream…”  Yeah.  Her.  She’s 50% rotten.  The other 50% is when she sleeps.

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One thought on “Don’t look them directly in the eyes

  1. Jen, you are freakin’ hirlarious!! I hope you are saving these for your girls to read later in life! I mean “Pay no attention to the trembling pile of bespectacled tattered nerves shivering in the corner.” Too funny!

    And yes, my goodness look at little ones pouty lips! Gorgeous!

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