Apples in all their apple-osity

Where we live is surrounded by farms; mostly corn and apple orchards, with the odd seed, sod, and hobby farm as well.  And where there’s a small town, a festival is sure to follow.  We have several here – Maplefest in the early spring, The Fabulous 50’s in mid-summer, and Applefest in the fall.  Applefest is, by far, the most popular, attracting tens of thousands to our historic downtown core, which spans no more than five blocks.  Consumers and tourists and locals are quite literally crammed in between vendors and carnival rides like sardines in a can.


We were on a mission to find apple dumplings.  I usually go first thing in the morning and apple dumplings cartoned in their styrofoam bowls are practically lining the streets.  This year we didn’t arrive until mid-afternoon and the dumplings weren’t in their usual location.  Now we had a purpose – Find Apple Dumplings and Purchase Said Dumplings, No Matter What the Cost. 

On our way through town, we spotted an elephant.  Boom.  Twelve dollars, gone.  It’s easy to tell the kids ‘no’ when they’re being bad.  But when they’re being quiet, sweet, little pumpkins, they pretty much get what they want.  Eirinn wanted to ride the elephant, so Eirinn rode the elephant.  AH got to ride the elephant, too, because anything higher than a step stool and I instantly poop my pants and I didn’t think we’d get Parents of the Year awards if we sent her up there alone (or with a mom who had just crapped herself).DSC_0104

Avery was mesmerized by the giant dog.  The giant dog with the freakishly dexterous nose.  I asked her if she could see the elephant and she spit on me.  I think she was either telling me that I was a stupid mom for calling the giant dog an elephant, or she was making an elephant noise.  I guess we’ll never know.

Further down the street, Eirinn got sucked into one of those ponds with the plastic ducks where “everyone’s a winner!”  Boom.  Two dollar, gone.  I probably would have said no to this one because, let’s be honest, riding an elephant vs. paying two dollars for a necklace made from Gimp and three plastic beads?  Opposite end of the financial spectrum.  Priceless photo op and life experience, on one hand.  Seriously?  Two of my hard earned dollars for that? on the other.  But whatevs.  It’s only money, right?  And besides, she had her daddy with her who is like puddy in her hands.

And, because we’re clearly made of money, in the very next block was a jumpy castle.  The kid is like some kind of jumpy castle addict.  She is rendered immobile in their presence.  So, naturally, we were obligated to let her jump.  Boom.  Three dollars, gone.  But she did get a lovely neon orange lip-shaped kazoo and a pack of Rockets.  Money well spent.

I left AH to wait for Eirinn while she bounced and continued our search for apple dumplings.  By now, we were at the far end of town and I was kind of getting worried.  The Lion’s Club usually had a big tent set up right outside the bank with dumplings piled so high you have to stand tippy-toed to see over them.  Well, the bank was blocks back and there was no tent.  The orchard with apple doughnuts had already put up a Sold Out sign (NOOOOO!!!!!), so my hope was fading.DSC_0124

Just when I was about to give up, I saw them.  They were in a tiny little booth with a home made sign “Apple Dumplings Here”, so I jumped in line.  I ordered two without even asking the price.  If we can blow $17 on Eirinn in a matter of ten minutes, I’m paying whatever they want to scam from me.  

DSC_0125I just handed them some money and ran off, giggling and licking the caramel sauce off the box.

On our way back, we stopped at two more booths.  My very favourite orchard was all out of apple cider, but my second favourite still had plenty.  Also didn’t care how much they were charging. DSC_0119

Our last impulse buy of the day (well, not completely, but the last of that trip) was candy apples for AH and Eirinn.  I’m not a fan; I prefer my candy-coated apples to be drenched in caramel, not red, sugary, crown-removing, whatever-that-stuff-is.  But AH had to have one and so he got one.  And because we know our daughters, we got one for Eirinn because she would just eat half of AH’s anyway and told her she couldn’t eat it until Avery went to bed.

The girls were each handed a balloon, which were immediately tied to their wrists so they wouldn’t lose them.  We had seen dozens of balloons floating through the sky and I knew that if they lost them, it would surely be an emotional tragedy.  We were no more than 10 metres away from our car when Avery somehow figured out how to undo a bow and sent hers airborne.  As predicted, that made for one heartbreaking meltdown.  Eirinn was sure to rub it in Avery’s face that the one remaining balloon belonged to her because she wasn’t so stupid as to undo her bow, but she was nice enough to share it when we got home.


Balloon – free

Plastic “necklace” – $2

Orange lip kazoo – $3

Elephant poop perfume – $12

Spending a beautiful afternoon with the family enjoying what glorious, locally grown produce our wonderful small town has to offer GETTING ME SOME DUMPLINGS, SUCKA! – priceless.



2 thoughts on “Apples in all their apple-osity

  1. Did you see the article in the star about those poor kids, who after raising 4,000 at the Apple Festival, had it all stolen out of their truck? Such a sad story – they were raising money for their hockey team.

    What is this world coming to when people have to steal from little kids …

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