Slow news night

Written last night in a state of desperation mixed with boredom, topped with a dollop of glassy-eyed exhaustion.  Enjoy.

I have “Computer Hand”, which means my right hand is freezing because our desk is not ergonomically correct and I have horrible posture so my hand is way too high and all the blood has drained out of it, leaving it frozen. Computer Hand.

I have Computer Hand because I’ve been sitting at the computer for about two hours scouring the Internets for inspiration. And by “scouring the Internets for inspiration”, I mean waiting for my energy to regenerate on Mafia Wars. Poe-tay-toe poe-tah-toe.

I’m waiting for my energy to regenerate because I have nothing else in the whole entire world to do. Also, I refuse to read the book club book I’m supposed to read by Wednesday and have read all the way to double-digit pages because I’m rebellious against my own book club that I invented.

I have a lot of break time coming to me at work because I forgot to take breaks today so I’ll read it then.  Yeah – I’ll read an entire book on my break.  Am Optimistic.  Optimistic or completely delusional.  You decide for me.  I’m still scouring.

Computer Hand has spread to my head so I’m wearing my hood. AH walked by and laughed. Asked me if I was planning to burglarize our neighbours.

Sounds like a good idea that I might do.  More interesting than watching the Mafia Wars energy clock.

My butt is numb.

Hockey is on which means I can’t even step foot into the living room or I’ll catch narcolepsy and hit my head on the coffee table.  It’s bad enough I can hear it.  I should get a hot chocolate to keep me awake.  A hot chocolate and some of the kids’ Halloween candy.

Did you know that I can make the best hot chocolate in the world?  You didn’t?  Now you do.

Recipe for The World’s Best Hot Chocolate Made From Powdered Hot Chocolate: 

  • follow directions on the can.
  • DO NOT ADD SALT.

AH adds salt to his hot chocolate which makes it disgusting times infinity.  He says it makes it taste better.  I say it ruins a perfectly good cup of liquid chocolate-flavoured chemicals.  I add milk so my lips don’t burn off and whipped cream to make it awesome.

I went outside to burglarize our neighbours get some fresh air and I noticed the house next door has a foreclosure notice on the window.  Huh.  A) too bad for them.  B) good for us because they always let their stupid dog poop on our front lawn in front of us and never once picked it up.  They were one stray turd away from us whipping crap at their garage door.  Yes, we would have touched dog poop with our bare hands just this once.  It would have been for a good cause.  Now I kind of wish they hadn’t left.

While I was outside, the neighbour I was going to burglarize just some random dude was bringing his extra garbage bags to deposit onto the foreclosed lawn next door.  Who should be more embarrassed – the neighbour dragging garbage bags down the street or the neighbour dressed like a criminal sneaking up to the empty house?  We nodded knowingly to each other and kept on keeping on. 

Mmmm…the hot chocolate is good.  So sweet and unsalty.  Would it be wrong to add another layer of whipped cream?

If you said ‘yes’ than we’re not best friends any more.

Just kidding.  I love you.  Please don’t leave me.

I’m so bored.

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7 thoughts on “Slow news night

  1. Got the coupon — thanks. By the way — I think you need to be my friend on Facebook — I’m totally addicted to Mafia Wars. I’m “a daily player, level 160-ish, I gift back good stuff (no crappy butterfly knives from me)… ” — just sayin’…

  2. 🙂
    I agree we should record- tape-pvr some hockey just in case we have trouble falling asleep one night…start watching it and bam instant sleep….

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