Rules of Toddler Fight Club

#1 – The first rule of Toddler Fight Club is, you do not talk about Toddler Fight Club (in front of Mom).

#2 – The second rule of Toddler Fight Club is, you DO NOT talk about Toddler Fight Club (seriously, don’t tell Mom – she’ll kill you).

#3 – If someone says stop, goes limp, taps out, or yells for Mom, the fight is over and we’re both dead meat.

#4 – Two toddlers to a fight.  Or sometimes two toddlers and one daddy.

#5 – One fight at a time.

#6 – No biting, no pinching, no hair pulling, no punching, no kicking, no fish-hooking, no pantsing, no eye-gouging, no spitting, no full Nelsons, no half Nelsons, no rear naked chokes, no choking at all, no pushing, no teasing, no poking, no name calling.

#7 – Fights will go on as long as they have to, or until Mom hears our screams, breaks it up and sends us to our room.  Plus, I don’t think there will be any cookies after supper.

#8 – If this is your first night at Toddler Fight Club, you have to fight.

This kid will mess you up.
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8 thoughts on “Rules of Toddler Fight Club

    • I’ve actually only seen it once when it first came out. But sometimes parts of movies stick with me and “the rules” was one of them. And that’s because it is awesome.

  1. My brother and I used to throw down hard core. Then I learned to tighten my stomach muscles during a punch to the stomach and the tables turned. I had an advantage that made me invincible, so the fighting stopped. What I’m saying is, give one of them a knife.

    Also…toddler fight club vlog!!!

    • Could we use other people’s kids? ‘Cause mine get all squealy and whiney and super annoying when they fight and I think that might make the Internets explode.

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