#1 – The first rule of Toddler Fight Club is, you do not talk about Toddler Fight Club (in front of Mom).
#2 – The second rule of Toddler Fight Club is, you DO NOT talk about Toddler Fight Club (seriously, don’t tell Mom – she’ll kill you).
#3 – If someone says stop, goes limp, taps out, or yells for Mom, the fight is over and we’re both dead meat.
#4 – Two toddlers to a fight. Or sometimes two toddlers and one daddy.
#5 – One fight at a time.
#6 – No biting, no pinching, no hair pulling, no punching, no kicking, no fish-hooking, no pantsing, no eye-gouging, no spitting, no full Nelsons, no half Nelsons, no rear naked chokes, no choking at all, no pushing, no teasing, no poking, no name calling.
#7 – Fights will go on as long as they have to, or until Mom hears our screams, breaks it up and sends us to our room. Plus, I don’t think there will be any cookies after supper.
#8 – If this is your first night at Toddler Fight Club, you have to fight.