Someone’s pants are a) much larger than they are claiming, and b) on fire.

Liar.

I had one child at a time totally just two, go to the gym 6 days a week (resting only on the Sabbath)*, and I starve myself on lettuce and water** and I still don’t look like that.  That makes her a liar.  Because this:

doesn’t ever go away***.

***

* Ok, ok, so  I haven’t been to a gym since 2004.  But I get a lot of exercise from my constant need to walk up and down the stairs to get to and from my bed and also to and from my desk at work, so that’s pretty much the same exact thing as going to the gym.

** Ok, ok, so I don’t starve myself.  But I do get mighty hungry in between breakfast and second breakfast.  And that break from thirdsies and brunch is tough.  Oh, and I think I once heard my stomach growl in the few minutes before morning tea break.  So that’s pretty much the same thing.

*** Unless you have a team of hired professionals, proficient in Photoshopping the life out of pictures and also lying.  Then sure, you, too, can have rock-hard abs, perky, gravity-defying boobs, and a slot-machine belly button.  Otherwise?  Impossible.

***

ps: this post was inspired by this one that is probably way funnier than mine, so forget what you just read here and go there and read hers.

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9 thoughts on “Someone’s pants are a) much larger than they are claiming, and b) on fire.

  1. I also count it as exercise when I walk from my classroom to the vending machine…

    And I totally agree that the photo is doctored. I mean I base I know on tv. comparisons and I know Jon & Kate plus 8’s stomach did not look like that and she only had 6 babies!

  2. I’m hungry for a flesh-colored watermelon now for some reason.

    Also I have an unnatural urge to implant a bowling ball in my scrotum.

    Must be Thursday.

  3. I need to find myself some of those professional air brushers and make-up geniuses, after twins the belly kinda needs it.
    She’s delusional!

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