- The ability to not end sentences in prepositions. I know it’s wrong and there are probably a few of you who cringe ever time you see the end of the sentence coming up, but I can’t help it. And, being super duper lazy, I’m not fixing it. Like, ever.
- Noses that turn red when they are cold. Mine stays the same colour no matter how cold it gets. I wish it would turn red or even pink just so everyone can see how cold I am without having to tell them. They just never believe me because of my regular-coloured nose.
- Naturally pink cheeks. A) it would save me a lot of money on blush. B) When I die my hair pitch black, I’d look less like a vampire and more like…not a vampire. Which is important distinction to make.
- Bloggy awards given by other bloggers (I’m not fishing, I’m sharing my feelings).
- Small hands. I look like I have two giant lollipops stuck up my sleeves. Stick thin forearms with giant man-hands on the end. I blame having enormous hands with my inability to dance.
- Straight hair. The current texture of my hair is approximately “ick.”
- Curly hair. Seriously, I’d take anything other that what’s currently residing on the top of my head.
- Accents including, but not limited to: New English (New Englandese? New Englandian?), any of the southern states, Irish but not like a leprechaun, Austrailian.
- Excellent singing voices, or at least satisfactory singing voices. My kids would probably put this one on their list, too. For me, not them. Because I swear, they both tell me to “Stop!” at least twice a day.
- 20/20 vision. I’m cursed with poor vision. I’ll be in glasses until the day my company covers laser correction. Which, so we’re clear, will never happen.
- Good hearing. I seriously have no idea what you’re saying. If you see my smiling and nodding, please don’t assume I know what you’ve said, because I probably don’t.
- In-person funniness. Really, spellcheck? That’s a word? Anyway, in person, I’m not all that funny. I don’t really do sarcasm very well and people tend to think I’m rude or cold or crazy. Which is fine by me. I’ll just type the same thing here and then I can pretend to hear you all laughing. While I cry a little on the inside.
- The ability to run without peeing a little bit. See also: jumping, sneezing and laughing. I’m pretty sure I don’t need to justify this one.
EDITED TO ADD:
14. Neat handwriting. My handwriting is never the same twice. My signature rocks, but my regular handwriting? Weird.
15. Being an expert in something. I know a little bit about a lot of things, but I don’t know everything about one single thing. I tried to think of an “except for” right there, but I’ve got nothing.
16. Throwing a frisbee. I’ve never been able to do it right. I end up looking like a ‘tard, so I tend to just avoid the whole scene altogether.