I leave all my worldly possessions to my dog.

I was all set to delve into a riveting story about that one time I maybe probably had a small hand in setting my aunt’s laundry room on fire, which would have got me in all kinds of trouble from a variety of sources.  So I got my tea and a wee tasty treat and got to typing.

Except then two things happened.  First, my wee tasty treat sort of paralyzed me with it’s deliciousness and I was left unable to do anything but take small, delicate nibbles as to savour it and drool in between bites.  Second?  Second, nothing!  Can’t type.  Eating.  Droooooling.  Eating.   

And then when I was done eating and drooling, I came up with a second thing.  The second thing was that I had found reason #1,892 that I love this cold, dreary country of ours.  And that reason is this:

Droooool.

Aunt Sarah’s Simply Delicious bars.  They are almonds wrapped in extra creamy caramel surrounded by the smoothest milk chocolate you’ve ever tasted, which, translated into simple terms, equals Yarm…  I kid you not, one bite and you will literally die.  I’m sitting here dead right now.  No exaggeration.  Literally dead from deliciousness.   

And you know what?  I hate to brag and rub it in your American faces, but these are made FOR CANADIANS BY CANADIANS, as the wrapper states.  But I’m pretty sure that’s because we have free health care because after eating one of these bars, you’ll need it. 

*cough* 89% of your daily recommended intake of saturated fat *cough* 

*cough* yes, that’s the super-duper bad kind *cough* 

*cough* the kind that will instantly clog your arteries and give you a seizure from being too delicious *cough* 

But whatever.  I’m not prejudiced against delicious tasting chocolate bars.  If it has chocolate + almonds + caramel, I’m not going to “pre” “judge” it for being a titch on the not-so-good-for-you side.  I’m going to taste it and decide for myself if I want this chocolate bar to be the last thing I eat before I drop dead of a heart attack made from happiness. 

And with these chocolate bars, my friends, the answer is always “yes.”

*** 

Post Script: Immediately prior to following* writing this post, my gall bladder led a rebellion against my unnaturally high tolerance for blinding, knee-buckling pain.  At last score, my gall bladder was winning by a land slide.  Ouchy.

* apparently my gall bladder also messed with the space-time continuum and went into fits before I ate the chocolate bar.**

** obviously I was in too much pain to proof read.

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12 thoughts on “I leave all my worldly possessions to my dog.

    • I haven’t tried “The Best” ones, but I’ll believe anything Aunt Sarah tells me. Because she is the Goddess of chocolate confections and she tells no lie.

      I haven’t read nakedcupcakes, you bloggy pimp, but I’ll go there next.

  1. where do you get those yummy treats?

    I hope that eating one doesn’t automatically cause gallbladder issues because frankly I couldn’t take that right now … 😉

    almonds + chocolate = perfection

    hope you’re feeling better!

    • I got them from a dude at work who was selling them for his kid’s baseball team. I think. I just saw a box on the counter with an envelope and I shoved money into it, grabbed some bars and ran.

  2. I hear the seams of my already too tight jeans beginning to split from only thinking about eating these. Usually I go low brow and scarf down a snickers bar, but these may be worth a trip.

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