Unless I’m incubating a fetus, I tend to avoid the doctor. For no reason other than I don’t really have a reason to go. Sure, I get sick, but never sick sick and I just suck it up and deal with it. I don’t need my doctor to tell me to take Tylenol for a fever, drink lots of fluids and sleep it off. I can do that myself.
But I went to the walk-in clinic yesterday after work. My doctor works there occasionally and he was there last night and I needed to see him. I told myself that as long as I felt well enough, I’d go to the clinic (which sounds back asswards). I felt fine, so I went to the doctor.
I’ve been having severe stomach cramps. Well, stomach-ish area cramps. Upper left abdomen. Severe upper left abdomen cramps. Like, remember that part during labour where you’ve had enough of natural childbirth and GIVE ME THE DAMN DRUGS YOU NAZIS!? Yeah. That severe. I had my first back in August or September and maybe a dozen or so since. I’ve had to leave work a couple of times. I’ve nearly blacked out from pain while driving. And I have an extraordinarily high pain tolerance, so for me to finally see a doctor? I’ve had enough.
My doctor is pretty awesome. He’s our family doctor and birthed the girls. He took us on and didn’t have to when my old doctor up and moved with no notice. So I went to see him tonight to see if he could make the owies go away.
He listed a bunch of scary possibilities while muttering under his breath, typing away on his laptop. He asked a million questions, examined my person. He gave me requisitions for blood work, ultrasounds, x-rays. He gave me a prescription for an ailment he’s pretty sure it’s not. He was honest and told me that he didn’t know what was causing the pain, but that we would figure it out.
I’m sitting here now, holding my breath which helps lessen the crippling pain, Google Diagnosing myself. Rule #1 of Life: Do Not Google Diagnose Yourself. No matter how simple the problem, you are dying. Headache? Cancer. Shoulder pain? Cancer. Runny nose? Cancer. Upper Left Abdomen pain? Definitely cancer. Inoperable pancreatic/kidney/lung/stomach cancer which leads to imminent death and pain!
And I’m not making light of this (well, I was for a second there, but I’m not anymore), because I know AAAALLL about kharma and she’s a nasty little lady, so I wouldn’t dare make jokes without taking them back.
I’m trying not to make too much out of this. I’m crossing my fingers that it’s just gas. Maybe when I go for my follow up visit, he’ll just lean on my upper left abdomen with his elbow and I’ll fart, really loud. Super embarrassing, but at least it would be gone. But it’s not gas.
My tummy hurts, people. It hurts a lot. It hurts after I eat, but not every time I eat, and not for any food in particular. I could eat something for dinner, be fine, eat the exact same thing for lunch the next day and be blinded with pain for hours. I could eat deep fried, butter-covered bacon with a chaser of full-fat whipping cream and be fine, or I could eat a lettuce and air salad, hold the dressing, and be folded in half with pain. It doesn’t happen often, maybe once every couple of weeks, but that’s enough.
I am not joking when I say:
Thank you so much for your concern. No one laughed at my misfortune, so that’s always nice.
My first instinct was also gall bladder, and it may still be, but the gall bladder is on the right side and my pain is very specifically on the left. But pain can migrate, so we’ll see.
I have bloodwork scheduled for Tuesday and an ultrasound and x-ray appointment in a couple of weeks.
I’ll keep you updated.