Politely concealed automatic weaponry

This is going around the office today.  It’s old news.  But after all the criticism of the Vancouver Olypmic Games, this was nice to hear.

(Plus I’m tired and the creative portion of my brain-meat is on vacation, so a cut-and-paste post is all you’re going to get.)


Leaving behind a thank-you note

Brian Williams, anchor and managing editor 

After tonight’s broadcast and after looting our hotel mini-bars, we’re going to try to brave the blizzard and fly east to home and hearth, and to do laundry well into next week.  Before we leave this thoroughly polite country, the polite thing to do is leave behind a thank-you note.

Thank you , Canada :

For being such good hosts.

For your unfailing courtesy.

For your (mostly) beautiful weather.

For scheduling no more than 60 percent of your float plane departures at the exact moment when I was trying to say something on television.

For not seeming to mind the occasional (or constant) good-natured mimicry of your accents.
For your unique TV commercials — for companies like Tim Hortons — which made us laugh and cry.

For securing this massive event without choking security, and without publicly displaying a single automatic weapon.

For having the best garment design and logo-wear of the games — you’ve made wearing your name a cool thing to do.

For the sportsmanship we saw most of your athletes display.

For not honking your horns. I didn’t hear one car horn in 15 days — which also means none of my fellow New Yorkers rented cars while visiting.

For making us aware of how many of you have been watching NBC all these years.

For having the good taste to have an anchorman named Brian Williams on your CTV network, who turns out to be such a nice guy.

For the body scans at the airport which make pat-downs and cavity searches unnecessary.

For designing those really cool LED Olympic rings in the harbor, which turned to gold when your athletes won one.

For always saying nice things about the United States …when you know we’re listening.

For sharing Joannie Rochette with us.

For reminding some of us we used to be a more civil society.

Mostly, for welcoming the world with such ease and making lasting friends with all of us.



5 thoughts on “Politely concealed automatic weaponry

  1. Aw, that made me all warm and sentimental for Canada.

    For, like, 45 seconds.

    Then, I remembered Canada sent that little twat Caillou and his enabling parents down here to drive American parents out of our frigging skulls.

    If it weren’t for Caillou, I’d probably love Canada a lot.

  2. Thank you Brian Wilson for writing a thank you note! Oh and I would much rather have Caillou than a stupid singing purple dinosaur.

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