The one where I stop trying to entertain you.

I’m not feeling The Funny today, so I’m not going to try.  Maybe I’ll try again later.  Or maybe not.  I’m not making any promises because I don’t want to get sued for breach of verbal contract.

I’m not any other emotion, either, so what we’re going for today is Meh?  Indifference. 

And to honour my feelings of indifference, or meh-ness, I bring you –

My List of Stuff That is Painfully Uninteresting

(you’re welcome)

  • I’ve worn glasses since grade 6 and I just this year learned that the little numbers on the inside of the frames indicate the size.  This will cut my glasses shopping by half, at least, now that I know I need size 53.  Size 53 is for people with enormous heads. 
  • I have an enormous head. 
  • I have three other blogs and I can’t tell you about any of them.  Too personal. My own pooping-at-work stories?  Not too personal.  These other blogs?  Too personal.
  • I’d like a brownie, please.
  • I was in two plays in elementary school.  I played Mary Kay (a summer camp attendee, not the cosmetics maven) and a grasshopper.
  • I’ve twice been told I could sing well.  Twice.  Ever.  That is all. 
  • I sang in the school choir for 7 years.  Yeah.  Sorry about that.
  • I spent well over an hour last night YouTubing the bands I used to love in high school.  I had much better taste in music back then.
  • I love reading and I love collecting the books I read.  I rarely use the library unless I have to read a book I’m pretty sure I won’t like.  But my book shelf has been hijacked by DVD’s and kids’ books.  I feel sad for my book collection.
  • I’m not ashamed to admit that one of my favourite movies of all time is Drop Dead Fred.
  • I have very bendy arms.
  • I am 30 years old and I’ve never spoken a swear word in front of my parents.
  • I want a brownie right now.
  • Recipe for hot chocolate:  Two enormous, or three moderate, tablespoons of Carnation Creamy Milk mix, 1/2 cup cold milk, fill mug with boiled water leaving 1/2 inch empty, stir.  Fill remainder of mug with whipped cream.  You won’t be sorry.
  • I hear better out of my right ear and see better out of my left eye.
  • I don’t eat baby animals, like veal or lamb.  I also don’t eat duck because I don’t know why.  I just don’t.  All other meat is fair game.
  • Related: I once cracked open an egg to find a feather in amongst the egg-goo.  How it got there remains a mystery of science.  Also: gross.
  • My two favourite office supplies are this and this.  It’s like a party everyday at work.
  • I took a Canoe Instructors course my last year of high school because I was asked by some of my phys. ed. teachers to supervise a canoe trip to Algonquin Park.  Apparently I looked hearty.  I failed because I wasn’t loud enough, so I never supervised the canoe trip to Algonquin Park.
  • Seriously, where is my brownie?  And not one of those ones with the icing on top.  I want a chewie brownie from the edge of the pan with chocolate chips and nothing on top but pure, natural, brownie goodness.

And I think that is all.  If you stayed until the end, wow.  I’m impressed.  If not, I forgive you. 

Also: where would one get a brownie at a time like this?

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13 thoughts on “The one where I stop trying to entertain you.

  1. Woman of mystery or what. First you have mysterious AH, now you have more blogs but you won’t share them with us – not fair, we could have quadruple the pleasure with so many blogs written by you!

    • Oh, don’t worry. They’re just work, and DMNO, and one other super boring one. You’re missing nothing. If they were exciting, I’d be bragging about them.

  2. “Haven’t got a husband! Haven’t got a husband! Got a stupid haircut!”

    No one should be ashamed of Drop Dead Fred love.

    Now should I be ashamed of my love for Howard the Duck….perhaps… but I’m not!
    “I am not longer Jennings…I am now….someone else!”

    • “Snot face wake UP!!!”

      “…then we’ll POO her, all over the table.”

      “Oh no, Mickey Fart-Pants. Whoever let HIM grow up?”

      Now I have the Howard the Duck song in my head, but the only lyrics I know are “Howard the Duck”. So it’s on loop.

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