Somewhere, there is a bunch of nerds shaking their fists and cursing the Hasbro Gods. Pushing up their Coke bottle glasses with their middle fingers, using big, fancy cuss words that only they know the meaning of, and certainly know how many points they’re worth.*
But somewhere else, like right here, there are some less nerdy people, who are still pretty dorky, or maybe it’s dweeby, but less nerdy or dorky or dweeby than the angry Scrabble purists, who are jumping for joy. Hurrah! I can compete with the big boys now!
I can use words like “Beyonce” and crush you with 20 points. I can smack you up side the face with 29 points worth of “JayZ” and you can’t do anything but watch and weep. If I knew how to spell “Kazakhstan” without having to Google it, I’d be punching you in the gut with 40 points, without even using a double or triple letter or word square.
Now, when I’m studying up for a big tournie, I can stick my nose in a People magazine for hours, instead of falling asleep underneath a dictionary. I can watch Entertainment Tonight, instead of something smart sounding on the Discovery Channel.
Oh, happy day. Oh, happy, glorious day.
* I tease. I love scrabble nerds.