At the risk of typing the most boring blog post entry in history, we’re having a yard sale on Saturday.  Preparing for a yard sale involves going through all your stuff-holders, your closets, your basement, under your beds, in your cupboards, anywhere where you shove your stuff that you don’t want to look at anymore and forget about it.  Then you take all of that junk-stuffs and spread it across your floor so you either have to deal with it or trip over it.  You look at your junk-stuffs and decide “is it worth my time and energy, of which I have little, to put this junk back into its hiding place?  Or would I rather let someone else hoard it?”  Nine times out of ten, I’d answer CHUCK IT, enthusiastically, because I’d rather be sitting on the couch underneath my laptop or eating my kids’ neverending Easter chocolate or hiding from responsibility in the washroom or … anything, really … than put that crap away. 

I don’t like clutter, but you know what?  Clutter happens to the best of us.  Clutter happens when you finish college and realize that those text books that you spent thousands of dollars on are not only heavy but also obsolete and unsellable.  Clutter happens when you get married and you get 6 mixers and three sets of glasses and 100 cards from people grateful for a free meal.  Clutter happens when you have a baby, and then another baby, who grow out of their clothing at a criminal rate.  Clutter happens when people buy your kids perfectly good toys that get played with once because SO MANY people buy your kids perfectly good toys and there aren’t enough hours in the day for them to play with them all.  Clutter happens when your children discover the joys of McDonald’s kids meals and the toys contained within. 

And so, when you’re preparing for a yard sale, clutter happens all over the place.  Clutter up and vomits itself in your hallway and your dining room and your kitchen.  It spills into your office and your foyer and pretty soon you’ve lost the separation between junk-stuffs-clutter and your keep pile.

So then your clutter and your good stuff amalgamate and you end up selling all your stuff and starting fresh.  Except successful yard sales have dirt cheap pricing, so you’re stuck trying to refurnish your 4 bedroom home with $382.

But at least all the clutter-junk-stuffs are gone from your home and have moved into some other poor schmuck’s house. 

In summation: my house is a mess.  Wanna buy a mixer?

The end.


4 thoughts on “Clutter-Junk-Stuffs

  1. Every time I’ve had a yard sale, I think, “Welp, I’ve decluttered. Everything will be peaceful now, and I’ll never have to have another.”

    I’ve had one a year since I’ve lived in my house.

  2. I am very much looking forward to the community yard sale coming sometime this year because I have HAD it with the crap. And clutter. and junk. It crawls out of hiding at night to have massive orgies on my dining room table, kitchen table, kitchen island…really any flat surface in the house. So I can totes relate.

  3. I always say how much I love our tiny apartment because it keeps me honest about clearing out the clutter. What’s happened is that I’ve gotten better at shoving more in tiny spaces. You are so right about the clothes and toys for 2 kids. It’s insane. Having two boys means they have to share a lot, but even then we’re tripping over stuff constantly. Good luck with your sale. I’m half tempted to put everything out on the sidewalk with a sign that says ‘free to a good home as long as you have your own truck.’

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