I’ve been contemplating the Tyrannosaurus Rex. I know, I know. “What the fu..? Why on EARTH would you be contemplating the T. Rex? You’re neither a palaeontologist nor a 7 year old boy!” And that’s where I beg to differ. I’m behave like a 7 year old boy so much that I’m probably an honorary member of the club. Proof:
- Farts are funny. Stinky farts are extra funny.
- I know all the Ninja Turtles names, associated colours, weapons they wield, and the theme song is stuck in my head right now.
- I’d rather eat the icing than the cake.
- I can burp louder than you can.
- I sometimes think about the T. Rex.
So, the T. Rex. I’ve been thinking about his stupid short arms. Sure, they’re awfully fun to mock and it’s pretty funny to call someone a T. Rex when they have abnormally tiny arms, but I’m not buying it. I’m not so sure the T. Rex actually had little arms like that. Seriously. My guess is that whoever discovered the first full T. Rex skeleton buried deep in the sand somewhere actually only found 90% of a full T. Rex skeleton and the arms were of whatever smaller dinosaur the T. Rex was eating at the time of the Rex’s demise. The giant comet crashed into earth or it froze over or God struck him down with vengeance or whatever. So this dude who was carefully dusting the bones found the tiny arms of Rex’s last victim and he was all:
“Aha! Arms! Here we go. *blink, blink* *inquisitive head tilt* But…they’re so tiny. They don’t look like they fit, at all. I’m not even sure I know where they could go. They don’t even look like they came from the same species. This is not going well. Not. At. All. But, these itty bitty limbs must go with this enormous body because they were laying right here! And have you seen the size of the body? I’m exhausted. Screw this noise. Imma just shove these tiny arms right in here *pop* and call it a day.”
And that’s how the Tyrannosaurus Rex got his tiny arms*.
* This is just a theory. Please don’t quote this as a source in any of your scientific research. THAT would be embarrassing for both of us.