I’m a music fan.  I’m not a fanatic or aficionado or great musical scholar.  I don’t have extensive knowledge of the underground indie rock scene and I don’t know the complete history of grunge music in Seattle in the early 90’s.  But I love music.  I’ve listened to the same radio station since I was 13 (102.1 The Edge) and I never tire of the music they play.  Mostly alt rock, with some mainstream, retro, and hard rock thrown in for good measure.   

I listen to music to remember.  I listen to music to escape.  But mostly, I listen to music to feel something.  I want to feel joy through the song.  I want to feel the pain.  I want that anger.  I want to feel what the writer felt when they penned the lyrics.  I want the music, the tune, the melody, the harmony, the rhythm to possess me and enrapture me and force me to move.  I want a song to grab me by my collar, pull me in close and hold me there until I can’t breathe. 

When I come across a song that does that for me, it’s like an out of body experience.  I can see myself absorbing every note, every word.  I can hear myself think “this is it.”  I can feel myself blocking out every other noise in this world in order to concentrate on what’s permeating from the radio.   

Most recently is Tighten Up by The Black Keys.  This song tortures me, it’s so beautiful.  It feels raw and honest and brutal.   It’s in my head, but I don’t want to shake it. 

I wanted love, I needed love

Most of all, most of all

Someone said true love was dead

And I’m bound to fall, bound to fall for you

Oh, what can I do?

This song holds me until I can’t breathe. 

Every time I listen to a song I love, I feel a slight sense of mourning.  Pre-mourning.  Because I know I can’t not listen.  I need to listen.  But every time I listen to a song, no matter how much I adore it, I’m one listen closer to growing tired of it.  To no longer wanting to listen to it.  To growing bored of its tune.  Knowing a song so wonderful and so gorgeous has an expiration date is heartbreaking. 

But until then, I treasure the music.  When it grabs me, I grab it right back. 


10 thoughts on “Enraptured

  1. Shouldn’t you be calling it CFNY my dear, at least I do, can’t call it The Edge, or 102.1 or anything else? No matter, great song, love it as well!

    • I don’t understand. The radio station is 102.1 The Edge. CFNY is just that radio signal’s call letters.

      And you’re right. No matter! It IS a great song! #1 this week on THE EDGE’s countdown.

  2. My life is just one huge musical soundtrack. I can’t live without music. If fact, I am pretty sure music has saved me on multiple occasions.

  3. There is nothing better than falling in love with a new song and listening to it over and over again. Of course, sometimes that song ends up being horrible, and you can only realize it after you’ve listened to it a million times. Then it’s like that ex you never wanted to admit you dated. John Mayer comes to mind.

  4. I started listening to CFNY the edge in the 80’s. It’s where I heard U2 for the first time, when they were considered “alternative”. Started listening to the morning shows with Pete and Geets in the morning, forget who was next, then listened to Humble and Fred (anyone remember Fred’s characters? I loved his annoying little man (can’t remember his name right now) “Yes? Hello? Why does everyone always hang up on me??”, then just Humble Howard when Fred went on vacation and they dumped him. Cannot stand Dean Blundell’s morning show. Just plain disgusting man crap. Tried switching to Mix 99.9 when Humble Howard went there, but then they dumped him when he went on vacation for that stupid Mad Dog and Billie and now they just play the worst music ever.

    Important lession if you’re a Radio show DJ… don’t go on vacation!

    Not exactly a music rant, but oh well …

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