Woody has been located. He was not being held captive in a Secret Underground Lair of Evil-Doing by Mr. Evil Dr. Porkchop or any of his dastardly henchmen. He was, in fact, in hiding. Eirinn asked Jesse The Cowgirl where Woody was (no…seriously) and she said Jesse told her he was in the guest closet, under my sewing desk, behind a duffel bag, underneath my wedding dress. AND HE WAS. If that’s not proof positive that toys are real, I don’t know what is.
My first reaction, besides squealing and clapping like the toy was mine, might have been to accuse Eirinn of hiding him there and then “all of a sudden” remembering where she had put him, except … she didn’t. She wouldn’t do that. She’s too protective of her own stuff to ever touch any of Avery’s stuff, to avoid any revenge toy tampering. We asked Avery if she had done it and she confessed, stating for the record that she was, and I quote, “hiding him so he wouldn’t get eaten by snakes.” End quote. Huh. Makes sense, I guess.
Woody is now resting safely in Avery’s crib, beside her as she rustles around, not napping. His hat is on her change table, waiting to be reunited once the faux-nap is over. He has a great big smile on his face, happy to have been found.
And, to be fair, he seems to be completely snake bite-free.