Dear People…

Please shower.  Your natural aroma is undesirable, as evidenced by my singed nose hairs.  Some water, a little soap, even, and call me crazy here, a touch of deodorant, and you’ll be grand.  Can you not smell yourself?  Have you become desensitized to your overall stench?  IS GOD THAT CRUEL?  You stink.  I hate to be the one to have to tell you this, but it’s a problem that affects not just you, but everyone around you.  We’re here because we care and/or because we have to be, so, please, do us a solid and take control of your situation before it gets out of hand.  Well, it’s mostly out of hand already, but who knows what will happen if this continues.  The cloud that currently surrounds you is expanding and it’s invading my personal space bubble.  I don’t take kindly to anyone or any…thing invading my personal space bubble. 

So I say this with as much kindness as I can muster for a person choking to death on your thick, hot, sour body air – take to your tub and scrub that shit right.  Use shampoo and A LOT of industrial strength grease cleaner.  And don’t be shy with the soap.  It is your friend and it loves you.

Sincerely,

Jen O.

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8 thoughts on “Dear People…

  1. It’s funny that you posted this, because this would be day 5 of Radar without a shower. I walked into work today and almost vomited. Then your post appeared in my inbox and it was magical. If the front printer was working, I would have “accidentally” printed it up there so he would see it first.

    Also, copious amounts of perfume/cologne does not mask the scent of boy odor. Then it’s just perfume/cologne drenched in ew.

  2. Hmmm, subtle, refined… what exactly are you trying to say?

    My coworker had an interview last week where the guy was so drenched in nasty BO we not only had to hustle him out of the office, we then rushed out and bought candles and diffusers to re-scent the whole office. Now it smells like we are working inside an effing mandarin orange…

  3. Eeek! I know I don’t shower enough. But that’s all I’ll say. Even that was too much. I guess what they say about french people may be right. But you didn’t hear it from me.
    p.s. I constantly harass my husband asking him if I’m stinky and he insists I’m clear.
    p.p.s. I agree with half of your tweet – your new design is absolutely beautiful but the other half was totally off – your content IS the shits (and yes it’s a good thing)

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