Boo

  • My dad always used to say of ugly people “They look like their face caught on fire and someone put it out with a rake.”  Now, no offence, ugly people, but that right there’s comedic gold.  Picture it.  The person’s face is on fire, right, and someone, just trying to be nice, puts it out with the business end of a rake.  If you’re not laughing, at least an internal chuckle, you’re probably dead inside.  Anyway, this is how I feel this morning, except less ugly and more face-full-of-sick.  I’m pretty sure it’s not face shingles, but it’s something unhealthy-like.  So maybe my face-fire is being snuffed with a shovel.  But still.  The theory behind the metaphor stands. 

***

  • I’m wearing jeggings.  Can we still be friends?  SHUT UP, THEY’RE COMFORTABLE.

***

  • Eirinn fell down this morning.  You know those moments when, if you had been recording, you’re sure you’d be hob-nobbing with Tom Bergeron, on your way to being $10,000 richer?  But then you also know those moments when you laugh, really hard, then immediately regret it because maybe it’s not so funny afterall, but it’s too late and you can’t stop?  IT’S NOT MY FAULT.  She had her arms stuck in her coat and she was spinning around like a dog chasing her tail and her legs skyted out and she landed on her chin and she didn’t even attempt to put her arms out to stop her.  IT WAS HILARIOUS, except it also really hurt.  I would’t have laughed at all if she had indicated it hurt right from the start, but she just lay there for a minute, flopping around like a fish on land, AND I WAS POWERLESS.  But then she started to cry, mostly from the bruised ego, and I felt terrible for laughing, but it was way, way too late.  Poor kid.  Stuck with an insensitive jerk for a mother who is a sucker for a good prat fall.

***

  • I didn’t sleep last night.  Not even once.  I don’t drink coffee, either.  I think if I get those glasses with the awake eyes painted on them, I could nap right here in this chair.  Boy am I glad I wore my jeggings.  They’re almost like jammies.

***

  • Usually when I write a post like yesterday, it motivates me to write.  All I need is a push to get the juices flowing (gross…) and even if that push is me whining about not writing, then that’s good enough.  I just have to remember that not every post needs to change lives, not every post needs to be thought provoking or award-winning.  Sometimes, if the mood strikes, I can just ramble about people stuff.  Sometimes I can post an earworm or an LOLcat or an embarrassing picture of myself (not today, folks).  Sometimes I can step back and remember that this place is my house.  I invite people to visit, offer them a cup of tea and a brownie cupcake with whipped cream frosting, but how I choose to decorate the place is up to me and what the topic of conversation is my decision.  And sometimes I just want to talk about nothing special and nothing important.

***

  • Boo.
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13 thoughts on “Boo

  1. I don’t sleep when I travel so basically sunday night was like those times in college when “substances” got in the way and I didn’t sleep. Last night, i came home and slept great. I may actually not punch a wall or write something snarky on the internets today.

    WE score out kids falls like German judges with cards and blank faces. Of course, one of my daugheters will end up in prison as a result. Can’t figure out which one.

    • I didn’t sleep because of this face plague, I think. We’re all out of Nyquil.

      But do you laugh at them? I think THAT’S the part that’s going to send E into therapy.

  2. I can’t laugh at others’ misfortunes. It just seems cruel.

    nah, I’m fuckin’ with ya, I totally laugh.

    ‘sup with your juices now? Gross.

    Haha. . . even my nine year old refuses to wear jeggings. I even tried to convince her it would be cool. She just gave me a withering glare, rolled her eyes and said, “no thank you.” I love that soooo much.

    • It IS cruel, which is also why it’s HILARIOUS.

      Oh, great. Even nine year olds won’t wear them. But does she know how COMFY they are? If she did, she’d wear them.

      • so I guess you don’t have a nine year old? My nine year old has a logic deflector that repels logic as easily as ducks’ feathers repel water.

        You know what else is comfy? A mu mu. Rock the mu mu. I dare you.

  3. Now I want brownie cupcakes with whipped cream. That sounds like such a delicious breakfast today. As for the “laughing at your kid’s wipe out” thing, I’m right there with you. Nothing funnier, until the drama kicks in and she is angry that I’m laughing on top of being hurt, then it escalates to ugly rather quickly.

    • I just baked regular old brownies in a muffin pan with cupcake cups. Pre-portioned and no mess. Then, when you’re ready to eat, pop it in the microwave for ten seconds and top with whipped cream. Viol-y.

  4. I ALWAYS laugh when people fall, I just cannot help.

    I guess when I have kids, I’ll also become the Mum who’s an insensitive jerk and a sucker for a good prat fall.

    Thanks for the tea and brownie, I enjoyed the conversation.

  5. exactly. it is YOUR place. and if you want to just type “hmmmmmmmmmmmmm” & leave it at that? because you feel like shit & your brain’s tired? more than ok.

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