Avery couldn’t sleep last night. Actually, after she snuck downstairs, the conversation went like this:
“Avery, why are you awake?”
“I can’t sleep.”
“Is it too loud?” (we were watching more Sons of Anarchy – almost over – and there tends to be a lot of gun shots and explosions and POW! BIFF! KAPLOW! fist fighting noises, as well as all of the cuss words ever invented)
“Are you too hot?”
“Are you too cold?”
“Are you thirsty?”
“Let’s go back upstairs and I’ll tuck you back in.”
“But I can’t sleep.”
“Well, it’s bedtime, so you’ll have to try.”
“You can’t try?”
“No, I can’t.”
And so it went on for about 10 minutes. Apparently she couldn’t try to sleep. Fair enough. There are a lot of things I can’t try to do, I suppose, but there’s one thing I’m not opposed to trying is drugging my kids to sleep.
Do you know what looks exactly like “medicine that helps you sleep” to a 3 year old who doesn’t know any better? Rockets. Do you Americans have Rockets? I think they’re called Smarties in the U.S., which are actually delicious chocolate in Canada, but I’m talking about Canadian Rockets, American Smarties.
Smarties, meet Rockets. Rockets, meet Smarties. Smarties, meet Smarties.
Sorted? Sorted. I gave Avery a Rocket, told her it was medicine to help her sleep, and she bought it. Hook, line, and sinker. I took her back upstairs and she climbed into bed without a word and fell straight to sleep. In the morning, she told me that the medicine worked and she slept all the way until the morning.
And if I didn’t know my kid better, and if I didn’t know that she is ten times smarter and more manipulative than I could ever dream of being, I’d actually believe her. What I do believe is that she knew it was candy. She probably knows and knew all along, decided to pretend to fall for it so that this could be our new thing. She pretends she can’t sleep, I give her candy, both of us know what’s really up, neither one of us will confess. I get what I want (her to sleep), she gets what she wants (candy).
I can’t decide if this is a parenting win or fail. Either way, I’m sure I’m setting my kid up for a pretty mean prescription medication addiction.