The Ghost Of Front Bottom Left Incisor

Oh, little tooth.  You were the first one up and so you are the first one out.  You will be missed.  I’m sure your adult counterpart will be a worthy substitution, but your vacancy will be ever-present in our hearts and our minds forever.  Rest in peace, wherever you may lay.

I think she finally got sick of me asking if I could wiggle her tooth for her, so she just pulled it out herself.  She says it just popped out, literally hurling itself from her mouth into her hand several inches below while she was in another room, but I think she just yanked it out to get it over with. 

I’m not sure what the going rate is these days for baby teeth, but the Tooth Fairy left her a clean, crisp, blue five dollar bill, which I thought was kind of steep and sort of a dangerous precedence to set.  In my day, the fair market value for a tooth was a dollar, which seems reasonable.  I mean, it’s just a tiny nugget of enamel, dentin, cementum, and pulp for which we no longer have any use.  So much so that it’s replacement evicts them from our persons with such force that they, apparently, will fly from our mouths as if jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge.  So really, the Tooth Fairy is paying us for our waste material.  Five bucks is a little pricey, no?  But, if she’s willing to fork over that kind of cash, you’ve got to think the Dental Waste Management business is booming and why not take advantage of that, right?

Also, I have it on pretty good authority that Ms. Fairy pays a premium for First Tooth Lost, and any subsequent teeth will be procured at a significant discount.

BONUS TWINSIES SUPERSTAR POSE SHOT!  They insisted on coordinating Tink tops, hot pink pants, Red Carpet poses.  Werk.  Molly the Clown is simply a part of their entourage.

The look of sour grapes from The Short One is because SOMEONE was extremely miffed that SHE didn’t wake up with dolla dolla billz under HER pillow, too, even though she was MORE than willing, and actually kind of ENTHUSIASTIC about the idea, to pull any one of her current teeth from her head, despite how annoyingly secure they seem.  Being the younger kid SUCKS sometimes, especially when there’s cash money involved.


11 thoughts on “The Ghost Of Front Bottom Left Incisor

  1. Eirinn told me that the tooth fairy is so tiny that she uses teeth to build her house. Which…gross. But, whatever. I’m not going to judge her because I don’t know her life.

  2. Our tooth fairy (Vivianna) pays $1 per tooth. She is pen pals with our daughter, so we’ve found out all kinds of interesting things. For instance, there’s not just one, but thousands of tooth fairies throughout the world. Thus the reason that one kid might get more/less money than another. Also, baby teeth have fairy dust in them. That’s why fairies pay money for them. And every time she picks up a tooth, she kisses my daughter and leaves another freckle.

    • Wow! You are WAY more creative than I am. When the girls ask me about any of the mythical, magical people, I just tell them I don’t know much because I’ve never met them. That way I don’t negate whatever they hear from their friends and also so I don’t forget what I’ve told them and tell them something completely contradictory. It’s a greatly disappointing answer for them to get, but it’s all about survival.

      • yeah, we generally try not to get ourselves in too deep. The Santa thing is way over our heads. We use the same tactic of “don’t really know.” But for some reason, she’s been very fascinated by the tooth fairy and started writing letters, so we’ve had to get a lot more creative there. She’s almost 10, so we know it’s all going to be going away soon. We’ve kept the letters from “Vivianna” in a special box, so we can go back and make sure we’re consistent. It’s so much fun when we wake up and she’s all-a-twitter to read us the letters.

  3. Those girls are ADORABLE! Our tooth fairy situation is messed up – I hear reports that the fairy that works my ex-husband’s district pays handsomely, but those reports could easily be wildly exaggerated. My local tooth fairy isn’t swayed by these rumors, and continues to pay $1/ tooth, though a First Tooth would fetch a higher premium.

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