All The Awards Are Belong To Me

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten an award before and ALL OF A SUDDEN, I got two in one week.  I don’t understand how blog awards work, so I’m going to do my best to follow at least some of the rules, but like a right proper lone wolf, I follow my own rules and write my own destiny and create my own stuff and things.  It’s not very complicated being a lone wolf.  You just pretend like you’re listening and do what you want.

Both of my prestigious awards come from the lovely Carrie from Our Journey, WHICH TOTALLY STILL COUNTS AS TWO SEPARATE AWARDS, EVEN IF THEY CAME FROM THE SAME PLACE.  Carrie’s pretty and she has pretty hair and pretty teeth and I love her and we’re best friends because she gave me all kinds of awards all over the place.

First up was the Liebster Award, which is an award that goes to the smartest person in the world.  Or something.  I got lost reading the rules.

When you get a Liebster:

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you for it. (Thanks Carrie!  Love your face!)
2. Link back to the nominator blogger(s). (I totally did that up there already.  Woo!)
3. Display the Liebster Award Logo. Proudly. (Does it count that it’s on this post?  I’m super proud that it’s there because look how cute it is.)
4. Nominate 5 bloggers with fewer than 200 followers – actual followers, not Facebook friends or Twitter followers. (Oh my God, I just blacked out.  This sounds like a lot of work.)
5. Let your nominees know so that they can do the same and keep the awards rolling. (Whoa…lone wolves have to decide whether or not they have the time in between lone wolfing and being lone wolfy to do the homework required to follow rule 4 and rule 5 before they can actually do any of these bossy rules.)

So, I’m pretty sure 60% completion is good enough for now.

Next is the Creative Kreativ Blogger Award!

I’m fundamentally against C words being spelled with a K, but if it’s an award I’m receiving, I’ll let it slide.  JUST THIS ONCE.  We’re not going to talk about the missing E.  I’m so honoured!  Oh, speaking of extraneous u’s, did I mention that Carrie is also Canadian?  She is and that means she wins all the bonus points in all the land.

Anyway, on to the Creative Kreativ Blogger Award rules.

1. Thank and link back to the awarding blog. (Totes did that again up there.  See that?  BAM.  Double link.)
2. Answer seven questions. (Apparently you’re supposed to make them up, but, again, being a lone wolf, I’ll probably just steal them from Carrie)
3. Provide 10 random factoids about yourself.  (I LOVE talking about myself, so I might just double or triple this for the hell of it)
4. Hand the award on to 7 deserving others. – (To quote Carrie “Oh Christ…SEVEN. I don’t even know seven people in real life…” because ditto.)

ONWARD!

Seven Stolen Questions

1. What is your plan if the world ends in 2012?

Um…I don’t have a plan.  I DON’T HAVE A PLAN.  If the world does end in December, will we get some sort of 30 minute warning or something?  Or will it just explode?  Because if it explodes, all I’ve got between now and then is, like, work and stuff.  But if I get a half hour to get my affairs in order, I think I’ll snuggle the chitlins, eat all the ice cream from my freezer (waste not, want not!), and maybe check Twitter to see what all y’all are doing.  Maybe I should make a more solid End Of The World to-do list.  Mine sounds pretty lame.

2. What’s your biggest fear?

The obvious – losing my kids in any way.  Either to death or physically losing them in a store or something.  Or them getting seriously ill or injured.  But other than children-related neurosis, I’m terrified of tornadoes.  And dark water.  And pretty much any big carnivorous animals.  And any kind of animal in mass quantities (even a pile of fluffy kittens kind of freaks me out).  And mirrors in the dark.  Can I still be a lone wolf if I’m such a wuss?

3. Whats the most frustrating part of your day?

The part where I’m awake.  The morning because my kids have no concept of time or being late or getting fired for being late or stress-induced ulcers.  After work because my kids never want to leave my mom’s house and have these voices that can crack glass.  Bedtime because they’re Masters Of Stalling and don’t think mommy should get a break and seriously, why do they always choose bedtime to engage in bare knuckle boxing?  And they never just go to bed.  They go to bed and get up because they’re hot and go to bed and get up because they heard a noise and then go to bed and get up because they had bad thoughts and go to bed and get up because their bed’s not comfortable and SWEET LORD ALMIGHTY JUST GO TO SLEEP AND STAY IN BED GAH!

4. What one item would you bring if you had to live on a desert island?

A full Kindle (don’t talk to me about battery life; this is hypothetical).  I am an old fashioned book lover and am bound and determined to never give up the paper kind that I can collect on my shelves, with pages I can feel and I keep my place with the bookmark I made when I was 10 and have used ever since.  BUT.  Because I can only bring ONE thing, I’ll pile a million books onto a Kindle and bring that because that’s not cheating.

5. What’s your favourite outside activity?

I love being on my dad’s boat on the lake.  I love the wind ripping my face skin from my skull as we tour the lake, gawking at all the giant, million dollar cottages and dreaming about one day buying one of my own.  I love the smell of the air in the middle of the water, completely surrounded by trees, and the sound of a loon in the distance.  I want to go to there right now, please.

6. Whose the one person you hate the most in this world?

Carrie answered with “I don’t hate anyone. I’m Canadian. It’s against the law.” and that’s the truth.  I can’t think of a single person I hate. I either like people, tolerate them, are generally mildly-to-moderately annoyed by them, or am completely apathetic to their very existence.  But I never hate anyone.  Maybe it’s more than just the law up here.  Maybe it’s in our blood.

7. If you had million of dollars what would you buy?

I’m an annoyingly sensible person, so while I’d love to say I’d buy one of those cottages I spoke about up there, I’d probably just pay off our mortgage, our remaining car payments and any outstanding bills we may have and, after a few minor splurge purchases, a few outfits for everyone or something, there probably wouldn’t be anything left.  A million dollars really isn’t that much these days.

Ten Random Factoids

1. The first and third joints in my fingers are double jointed.

2. I can see better out of my left eye and hear better out of my right ear.

3. I once shook Princess Margaret’s hand.  I was a Brownie at the time and she asked me if young Brownies were called Rainbows in Canada, like they were in Britain.  I told her that they were called Sparks.

4. I will take a fish off of a hook, but I won’t put a worm on.  I feel like when I take the fish off, I’m saving it’s life (even though I’m the one who caught it), but I’m killing the worm when I feed the hook through it’s body.  That’s some messed up logic right there, but here we are.

5. I have three wisdom teeth. That’s all that grew and I still have them because they came in straight. That doesn’t stop the dentist from suggesting we have them removed every single appointment I have, even thought there’s absolutely no reason to take them out.

6. I think the movie I’ve watched the most (besides kids movies that they insist on watching every single day) is The Fugitive.  I’ve seen it no less than 15 times.

7. I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was pregnant with Eirinn.

There!  WOOOOOO!  I did it!  I even followed most of the rules!  Except those pesky ones about nominating other people because gah, homework.  Thanks again, Carrie!