Seven Things

I see your Seven Things, Jerrod, and I raise you Seven Things WITH RULES.  An open-ended seven things is too vague for me.  I need structure, so I added my own structure.  I built my own walls and willed myself to stay within them.

First, I’m imagining these seven things must fit in a backpack.  Because, obviously, these are seven things that I’ll choose to bring along with me while I’m nomadic during the zombie apocolypse.  Obviously.  BUT these things need not include essentials to defence or survival.  It’s a really big backpack and there was plenty of room for a whole load of canned goods and bottled water and I also have a machete that hangs off my belt that serves me nicely.  So I don’t need to include that stuff.  That stuff’s covered.  These seven things are non-essentials.  They are, perhaps, mentally essential.  Like, I know I’m going to be wandering the streets for days and weeks on end and I’m cool with food and I’m confident I can kill a zombie or two when the time comes, and I have a bit of room in my backpack for a few things to keep myself entertained/mentally stimulated/un-crazy.  Got it?  Also, I’ll probably find a place to hang out that has a generator because I need power for some of my stuff.  I’m high maintenance.  Also, also, no people.  Obviously if I were to pick some things, my family would come first, but they don’t fit in a backpack.

Seven Non-Essential Items That Will Fit In My Backpack When The Zombie Apocolypse Hits

NOTE: this is all in theory because I have no doubt that I’ll be one of the first ones to succumb to a zombie bite and/or get eaten completely alive because running is hard.

1.  The A Song Of Fire And Ice series.  I’m counting this as one item because trade paperbacks are wee.  I need to read and at over 4200 pages and counting (including the two yet to be published books), I’m sure they’ll keep my mind working creatively for a while, even if I’ve already read them (although, I haven’t read A Dance With Dragons because it hasn’t been released in trade paperback yet and I like my series of books to be in the same format because I’m weird like that).  I’ll also require my leather bookmark I made in grade four because it’s held my place in every book I’ve read since then.  A little reminder of my youth will be good for the spirit, I think.

2.  Yoga pants.  For strictly un-yoga-type activities, of course.  When I get home, I head straight to my room and change from my work clothes into yoga pants and a sweatshirt.  It’s…not cute.  But looking cute is not the point.  Comfort is 100% the point.  Yoga pants, a very fuzzy sweatshirt, and slippers or bust.

3.  A box of Tetley.  I know, tea is in the food category, but tea is so much more than that.  Tea is like a mild, soothing, comforting relaxant.  Because I’m old and crotchety and a mole-person, if I were to describe a perfect day, it would include a good book (see #1), comfy clothes (see #2), and a big mug of hot tea with milk and sugar.

4.  A teeny little television (backpack sized, of course) that plays only HBO, Showtime, FX, and AMC.  There are very few shows I watch that aren’t on these four networks.  If every other network ceased to exist and I only had these four to choose from, I’d remain thoroughly entertained.  Girls, Game Of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire, True Blood (HBO), Shameless, Californication, Homeland, Dexter (Showtime), American Horror Story, Sons Of Anarchy, Justified (FX), The Walking Dead (for continued research), and Breaking Bad (AMC).  Not only would I be thoroughly entertained, but I’d be hard-pressed to find time for zombie killing.

5.  Ear plugs and melatonin.  I’m a very light sleeper and most nights I don’t get more than four or five consecutive hours of sleep.  The sound of zombies moaning and people being eaten all night would surely keep me up.  Mama needs her sleep.

6.  A toothbrush and some paste.  You should brush twice a day, folks, and running for your lives from flesh-hungry undead is no excuse.  You can shave your head to avoid needing shampoo and a bit of a sand-scrub in a river can wipe the stink off, but there’s nothing like a toothbrush to rid your mouth of that icky taste and the feeling of fuzzy teeth.

7.  A watch.  Knowing what time it is would help keep track of what day it is, especially if it’s one of those watches that also tracks the date.  And knowing what day it is would help to maintain some semblance of normalcy.  You could have a reasonable idea of when to expect Christmas and your birthday, the passage of seasons and whatnot.

So there are my Seven Things.  My favourite books, some comfy clothes, a nice cuppa tea, my stories, a good night’s sleep, clean teeth, and time.  What are yours?